Behind A Smile
by xcarebear
Summary: Trinity has got through alot in her life from depression to developing an eating disorder to hurting herself to even attempting suicide but will she give up on life just yet when she meets one guy who changes it all?
1. Chapter 1

_I've gone through alot in my life. From depression to eating disorders to cutting myself to even attempting suicide. Over my life, I've had Happiness  
>and Heartaches. Butterflies and Snakebites. The people that do know me only think of me as 'the girl who hides away and puts on a happy face.'<br>they don't know the real me nor the real story because I'm afraif of what might happen. My name is Trinity Fletcher and this is my story.._

**''Trinity!'' She yelled. ''C'mon, let's go to the beach! It's summer, let's go have fun and make the most of it!'' She stood at the doorway, holding  
>2 towels and a bag.<strong>

_Oh yeah, This is mia. She's my bestfriend, she's my sister at heart. we do everything together and she's helped me through everything! Of course our friendship was better_ _before I developed the eating disorder and began to harm myself but she stood by me, she's never left. She's probably the only reason to why I'm still here today, alive and breathing._

I pulled out my earphones.** ''I'm perfectly happy spending the entire summer listening to music.''**I smiled at her, knowing that was'nt the truth.

**''like you always do?'' **she walked over to me and sat on the edge of the bed. **''You don't have to wear a bikini or even shorts, Just come with me..  
>please Trin?'' <strong>

_and there were those baby blue puppy eyes, how could i possibly say no to her now?_

I nodded. **''okay..'' **_I slipped into some ripped jeans and threw on my jacket. It was boiling outside but I did'nt care, I'd do anything to hide and cover  
>my fat and disguisting body. Put on a smile Trinity, Just put on a smile and pretend to be happy. Mia deserves that much. I thought to myself as we headed out the door.<em>

_we we're soon at the beach, It was packed with people. It seemed like a beach party was going on. It was loud and crowded, I headed up the beach  
>with Mia behind me. I did'nt want a headache with the first 10 minutes of being here, I placed the towel on the sand and sat down on it, looking out<br>at the ocean. I felt a smile come across my face._

**''Can you pass me my water Trin? It's in the bag.'' **Mia asked.

_I searched the bag, but could'nt see any bottles of water. there was just sunscreen, sunglasses, a few magazines and chocolate that was already  
>nearly melted. <em>**''I can't see any bottles of water, you must of left it back at the house.''**

**''Ugh.'' **she groaned. **''well, I'm gunna melt if I don't get a drink soon, Do you want anything?'' **she asked as she stood up.

**''No, I'm good.'' **_I smiled at Mia and watched her walk away, I looked at all the people in the distance, at the people playing in the sea, the people hugging, the people enjoying themselves, the girls showing off their perfect bodies. Toned arms. Toned legs. Toned stomach. Beautiful faces. They  
>were perfect. like something off the cover of a magazine, they smiled and laughed with their friends.<em>

**''I remember being that happy, I miss it..'' **_I mumbled to myself and lay back on the sand. My dark hair fell and covered most of my face, the warm  
>sun felt nice againest my skin. I closed my eyes and let myself relax, forgetting about everything and everyone around me.<em>

_A few minutes had pasted, I felt myself slowly drifting off. I felt something suddenly fall in my lap, my eyes flickered open. It was a football, I looked around and could see a guy running towards me. I picked up the football and stood up._

**''Ah..''** Miles scratched the back of his neck as he finally reached Trinity, out of breath. **''Hey, I'm sorry about that.'' He looked up at trinity and chuckled lightly.**

**I smiled. ''No harm done, It's not like I lost an arm or something.'' **I smiled and leaned over, handing him the ball.

Miles chuckled.** ''Yeah.. I'll be sure to be more careful.'' **he began to walk away but soon stopped and turned around. **''Hey, I know I just met you.. but fancy joining us?''**

**''You want me to come a play football with you..''** I looked over his shoulder. **''and your friends? yeah.. me and football don't really go together that  
>well, but thanks.'' <strong>I giggled.

**''well then, come and watch? It's just.. you seem really lonely, you could do with some company.'' **he shrugged and smiled at me.

**''Oh no, I'm not.. My friend's just-'' **I looked over and saw Mia talking to a group of guys. look's like she found new company.** ''well, thanks for noticing!''  
><strong>I showed a small smile, gathering my things and walking over to Miles.

**''Soo.. where's your friend?''**

I pointed over at Mia.** ''there, but Don't worry.. It's normal for her, she LIVES for hot guys.'' I laughed lightly and rolled my eyes.**

Miles chuckled.** ''well, don't worry.. I'll be sure to never leave you like that.'' **he threw a smile at me.

_In that moment, my heart did a somersalt. The way his blue eyes sparkled, The way his smile could easily melt my heart, The way his laugh was so adorable. No, I'm not falling for him! It's just that, standing next to him, I can feel butterflies in my stomach.._

_I could feel his eyes on me, I bit my lower lip and folded my arms. hoping he would soon look away but he did'nt.._

I looked up at Miles** ''Can i help you with something?'' **I laughed, breaking the silence.

Miles chuckled.** ''Sorry, that was rude.. It's just, I've never seen a girl in jeans, uggs and a Jacket on the beach during summer.'' **

**''Um.. It's a long story.'' **

Miles grabbed my arm and stopped.** ''I have all the time in the world.'' **he smiled at me.

**''What I meant by that is that it's kind of personal and I don't wanna talk about it..'' **I pulled my arm away and looked down, I continued to walk down  
>the beach.<p>

Miles caught up with Trinity and sighed. **''I'm sorry, It's personal and I barely even know you. I get it, hopefully, I'll get the chance to know you.''  
><strong>he smiled at me as we arrived back were his friends were.

**''Dude, what toke you-'' **Nick's voice trailed off as he saw Trinity, he looked at her up and down. smirking slightly. **''I'm Nick.'' **he extended his hand.

I smiled softly and shoke his hand.** ''I'm Trinity.. I'm sorry for um, inturupting your game.'' **

**''Nah, It's fine. we we're nearly done anyways. you come to watch?''**

**''Yeah,'' **I nodded.

**''Aight. Sit over there and enjoy.. Oh, and babe, you really should'nt cover up that hot body of yours.'' **he smirked and winked at her.

**''Dude!''** Miles laughed and ran across to his football team.

_I turned and smiled to myself, ''that hot body of yours'' his words kept running through my head. All this no eating anything and starving myself was  
>really paying off.<em>

_What the hell? how In the world could he find my body 'hot'? It was fat, Thick, disguisting, revolting. _

_I sat down on the sand as I layed my eyes on Miles, and I noticed how I was'nt the only one. There were several other girls, actually most of the girls  
>on the beach had their eyes set on Miles. I could'nt blame them, he was absolutely gorgeous. his perfect six pack, his big muscalar arms. A guy like that could never be interested in a girl like me.. I sighed, looking down at my hands. I soon heard loud cheers and people clapping, I looked up to notice that Miles team had scored, I smiled and clapped, cheering for them and shouting his name as support.<em>

_I watched as he began to walk over to a girl, my heart sunk as she threw her arms around his neck and connected their lips together. I held back tears  
>as I grabbed my things and got up, heading in the direction were my house was. I heard somebody shouting my name over and over again, It got louder as the person got closer I turned around.<em>

**''Mi-les?'' **

**''Yeah.. I looked for you and wanted to come over for a talk but you we're gone.. is everything alright?''**

**''Um, yeah. I'm good.. I just started to get headache and I saw you with your girlfriend, I did'nt wanna inturupt so I just left but congratulations on  
>the win. I'm sorry, I have to go..'' <strong>I turned around and started to run to my house.

_I got to my house, and ran to the bathroom. leaning againest the door and falling to the floor in tears, I just wanted everything to end. I looked over  
>at the razor lay on the counter, I did'nt hesistate and grabbed it. I slowly pressed the razor againest my skin, I felt more tears escape my eyes as the sharpe razor went in deeper into my skin, It hurt but It<em> _toke the pain away.. for a little while. I watched as the blood began to run down my hand, I grabbed a towel and pressed it againest the cuts. letting the towel soak up all the blood, I lay on the floor, holding myself and breathing heavily. I  
>closed my eyes. <em>

_please let this nightmare be over.._


	2. Chapter 2

_**Set your alarm. Get up bright and early. Pull on a baggy top and jogging pants. Go outside, no matter what the weather. Walk for ten minutes.  
>Skip for five minutes. Jog for 15 minutes. Then turn around and walk back. Nice and early, with nobody around. Then get back home again.<br>Get yourself a healthy morning snack to start the day, maybe fruit or yogurt? Go and pour yourself some water. Fresh water, ice cold. mhmm.  
>Refreshing. Go upstaires. Turn on the shower. Wash your hair with nice smelling shampoo and vanilla scent conditioner. Wash yourself with<br>body lotion. Come out of the shower. Dry yourself all over. Slather yourself in body butter. You smell nice, clean, innocent, pure, amazing. Put something cute and stylish on. A t-shirt, your favorite jeans. A bra and maching underwear. Towel dry your hair letting it hang damp to dry naturally. Go to the mirror. Look at what you see. Don't like it? Pick out three things that you love about yourself. Maybe your sparkling  
>chocolate brown eyes, your tinted golden brown skin, your tinted rosey colored cheeks. Get a glass of pure apple juice. Grab your favorite book. Paint your nails. Listen to music on your ipod. Call your friends. Spend time with your family. Smile. Laugh. Play. Have Fun. Today will be<br>perfect. no cutting, no purging, no crying, no feeling tired, depressed or worthless. Only loving, living and laughing. you can do this.. **_

_a smile slowly appereared on my face as i finished reading through the letter that my older sister, Audrina had sent me. _

_**today will be perfect, no cutting, no purging, no crying, no feeling tired, depressed or worthless..'**_

_but of course it was easier said than done, my smile faded. I sighed and climbed out of bed. I fought back tears as I caught a glimpse of my reflection  
>in the mirror beside my bed, my heart slowly sank. <em>'you can do this' _I whispered to myself as I pulled my closet open, it was raining and cold outside. A good excuse for baggy clothes, I threw on a white hoodie over an over-sized patterned t-shirt and slipped on some black ripped jeans. I looked over  
>at the mirror and groaned. bed hair, i yanked a brush through my hair, i atleast wanted to look half decent. i brushed my hair out of my face, tying it<br>up in a cute messy bun. I stepped out of my bedroom and headed downstaires. Only to throw myself on the sofa. I turned my head as I heard the front door slam shut._

''Hey lovely.'' **Mia said, entering the living room. **

''Hey,'' **I chucked a smile on my face as Mia leaned down and wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly.**

_Instantly, I felt an ache shoot right through my body, As Mia hugged me tighter, the pain got worse, nearly unbearable._

''Ow.. careful.'' **I mumbled as I removed my arms from Mia's neck and lay back on a pillow. **

''Trin, what's wrong?''

''N.. no.. nothing, my body's just been aching these past few days, It's nothing serious though. A little bit of pain, I can handle that. Don't worry.'' **I looked  
>away. <strong>

_These sort of moments usually caused arguements.. arguements about my bulimia. Of course, I try to avoid talking about it as much as I can  
>because I don't want Mia to worry about me but Mia is the most caring person I know.. I know that she would'nt let this slip that easily,'' <em>

''Then, why the hell does your body ache when I hug you? that's not normal, Trinity! Something is really wrong.. please don't tell me you're..'' **Mia's voice  
>trailed off.<strong>

Tears immediantley escaped my eyes as I pushed the words out of my dry mouth, **''I'm really sorry..''**

''But you promised..'' **Mia looked at me, shaking her head in disbelief.**

_I could tell she was disappointed and ashamed of me. It was written all over her face. It broke my heart but I knew i could'nt do anything at all. Not  
>a single thing, even if I wanted too.<em>

''You promised me that you'd stop doing this to yourself, you'd stop hurting yourself, you'd stop putting yourself through all this pain Trin.. I can't bare it, I just  
>can't watch you slowly kill yourself each day.. your so strong Trinity, you can fight this. I'll help you as much as I can, you can't let this destroy you!'' <strong>Mia gave<br>me a reassuring smile through her tears.**

''But I can't.. don't you get it? I'm not strong enough to fight this, I thought I was but I'm not.. I can't control it anymore, It helps me get through each day Mia.  
>It's the way I cope with everything, the anger, the stress of my whole life.. I just can't give it up, I've try everyday.. I try and I fail.'' <strong>At this point, my hands<br>were shaking from all the crying, I was breathing heavily, my fragile and weak body was trembling. **

**Mia** **walked over to me, she pulled me in for a hug, locking me in her embrace and stroking my hair. **''Hey, ssh.. how about we give it a few more  
>weeks and If your still not getting any better we sign you into a treatment center?''<p>

**My immediate reaction was to push Mia away,** ''What? Noo! Mia, they don't help people like me. they make it worse! they'll send me crazy!''

''You don't have a choice Trin, If you can't do this by yourself or with help from me.. What else am I supposed to be? I refuse to stand here any longer just to  
>watch you do this to yourself!''<p>

''That's not for you to decide, Mia!'' **I was now on the verge of tears, once again. **''Gosh.. do you think that all of this is SO easy for me? that everyday's  
>not a struggle for me? I've been fighting this battle for the past 6 years. I'm not ready to end it, I'm a stronger person because of all of this! what is so fucking<br>wrong with wanting to be perfect?'' **I could barely speak.**

''It's crazy.. because, your already skinny! your beautiful, your flawless, your special. you are perfect Trinity Mores! what's the point of trying to be everything  
>that you already are?''<p>

_I felt tears fall uncontrolably down my cheeks, I rushed over to Mia and wrapped my arms around her. I breathed in her scent, Vanilla. I smiled  
>through my tears, playing with her hair. we stood there for another 5 minutes before I decided to let go and wipe away the last of my falling tears. <em>

''Don't ever, ever, ever give up. okay?'' **she smiled weakly, wiping away my tears with her thumb.**

**I nodded.** ''I won't,'' **I felt myself giggle as Mia turned around to face me.** ''Oh my god..''

''What?'' **Mia frowned at me before she walked over to a mirror, She bursted out laughing. **''I look like I have raccoon eyes! Oh god..'' **She giggled,  
>grabbed a makeup wipe and started to rub down her cheek were the smudged mascara had gone too. After a few minutes, she chucked the wipe <strong>

**into a bin and looked over at me.** ''Do I look better?''

''Muchly.'' **I nodded and smiled. **

''Wanna join me on a trip to the video store?'' **Mia asked.**

''Um, I thought we we're gunna go to the Juice bar? y'know this'll be like the third time we've stayed in over this week.''

''Well, I know your not comfortable with hanging around a bunch of people and It's no fun without my bestfriend there with me, So I'm willing to make some  
>sacrafises. It's not a big deal and It does'nt bother me.'' <strong>Mia smiled, fixing her hair.<strong>

''Such a sweetheart!'' **I giggled.** ''but seriously, I wanna go. it'll be fun and besides your with me so nothing bad could possibly happen, right?''

''Defientley not babe!'' **Mia smiled, pulling me in for a gentle cuddle and toke my hand in hers. **''Time for some fun!'' **she giggled as we headed out  
>of the house.<br>**  
><em>But already, I'd started to regret what I'd just agreed too..<em>


	3. Chapter 3

''Pretty flower.'' **I smiled, looking at the white rose that lay in troy's hand.**

**Miles turned around, **''Hey, Um.. Trinity. right?'' **He smiled.**

''What a guess. you remembered my name, impressive.'' **I giggled, sliding onto the seat next to him.** ''So,  
>who's the white rose for?''<p>

_White roses we're my favorite. they seem to go with everything and symbolizes purity. they're a unique kind of beautiful._

**Miles looked down at the white rose, snapping out of the moment. **''Oh. It was uh, supposed to be for  
>Amber, my girlfriend. but she hates roses so looks like I'll be returning this later.''<p>

''Well, erm.. mind if I have it? white roses are my favorite and it'd be a shame for you to return it.'' **I looked  
>up at him, playing with my fingers in my lap.<strong>

**Miles chuckled, **''Sure.''** He grabbed it and handed it to me.**

''Thanks.'' **I toke the flower from Miles.** **I could feel myself blush a little as I looked into Miles sparkling  
>ocean blue eyes, I tried to catch my breath. His tanned skin and rosey coloured cheeks we're making my heart slowly melt. I bit my bottom lip, pulling myself back to reality and shaking my thoughts to the back<br>of my mind.**

**The moment was quickly ruined as I watched Amber practically throw herself into Miles's lap, showering him with passionate kisses and wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her, giving him a gentle cuddle. I felt awkward as I watched, was I invisible? she did'nt even acknowledge that I was even there. or maybe she wanted to make it clear that he was **_**hers.**_** I looked at Miles as Amber gave him a kiss  
>on his neck, he looked quite uncomfortable and pushed her away. I sighed in relief, thankful that I did'nt have to spend another minute watching her practically trying to fuck him.<strong>

''Babe, This Is Trinity.'' **Miles nodded in my direction, at me.**

_I finally got a look at Amber as she turned to me and smiled coldly at me. She was blonde, thin, tall, tanned. The typical california girl. _

**I held my hand out, forcing a smile upon my face. **''Hi.''** I said shyly.**

**She looked at me up and down. **''Er, hi?'' **She rolled her eyes, turning back to Miles and placing her both hands on each sides  
>of his neck. <strong>''Can we please go now baby? I don't feel so good..'' **She pouted and put her head on his shoulder.**

**Miles stroked Amber's hair, pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket and held it out for me to take. **''Of course, babe.''** He smiled at me and headed in the oppisite direction with Amber wrapped in his arms.**

_I watched them leave and unfolded the piece of paper, i felt a smile appear on my face as i looked at the number written on the scrunched up piece of paper. his number. i beamed in excitement. i brought the white rose closer to  
>me, taking in the scent. that special and rare smell. i placed it on the table beside me. i sighed to myself. miles was the only thing on mind and truthfully, has been ever since i first met him.<em>

_Saturday morning. I woke up stretching my arms out. my loud & effortless yawn echoed down the hallway. I smiled  
>as i rolled over onto my side. my bedroom window was unlocked and wide open. I could hear kids playing and laughing outside in the streets, screaming and yelling at the top of there lungs. it did'nt bother me. I was used to all the noise. I brought myself up off the sheets, placing both of my legs at the side of my bed. instantly, i could feel the warm summer breeze fill the room. i grabbed my cream cardigan, wrapping myself up in it. i walked over to the window ledge, looking out at the crowds of people in the streets. some we're in a rush to get to somewhere, some we're arguing, some we're giggling and messing about, some we're sat on the sidewalks making music, others we're enjoying this beautiful scorching summers day.<em>

_time for my morning run, i thought to myself as i turned around and walked over to my wardrobe. i opened it. i found some sweatpants and a strap top finishing with a baggy hoodie. i quickly threw the clothes on and pulled my hair out of my face, tying it into a messy bun. one last thing to do. i headed into the bathroom and splashed my face with freezing cold water, drying it with a towel afterwards. i grabbed my water bottle and headed downstaires, leaving the house._

_I headed into the woods and started to jog down the path as I did every morning In my spare time. I pushed my earphones into my ears and scrolled through songs on my ipod until I found my current favorite one, I finally found it ''Unwritten'' by Natasha Bedingfield. It was such an uplifting happy song that could easily put me in a better mood. I carried on running as thoughts ran through my mind of the previous night until i could feel myself fall backwards and hit the ground._

''Oh shit! I'm sorry about that! I should of been watching we're.. Trinity?'' **Miles looked down at me.**

**I laughed. **''Wow, if I did'nt know any better i'd say you were stalking me mister.'' **I smirked at him.**

**he chuckled and toke her hand that she put out for him to take, pulling her off the dirty ground. **''Sounds like a fun job but I'm pretty sure I have a billion other things to do with my time.'' **He winked at her, laughing slightly.**

''Oh yeah? like what? like fucking amber?''

''Wow.'' **Miles seemed surprised by her reply. **''I was actually gunna say like playing basketball and hanging out with the boys but hey, what you said is fun too, can't complain about that.'' **he grinned.**

''That's so interesting, do you love going around talking about your sex life or was I just the lucky one?''** I sarcastically replied, feeling uncomfortable.**

''Maybe even the lucky one to have a part in my sex life.''** he teased, chuckling.**

''Mhm. How I'm so looking forward to that!'' **I joked. **''just tell me what time, were and when baby.'' **I rolled my eyes, playfully.**

''Nah, i'm no cheater but thanks for the offer of a good time.''

_There was an awkward silence as we headed down the path that leads to the open road, all I could hear was the water running down the river and the sound of little birds squeaking and whisiling. I smiled to myself. It was quite refreshing for me as I remember being little when I loved nature and being outdoors but ever since things changed i would spend all my time in my room, hid away from the rest of the world. i turned my head slightly to my right were miles was only to find him staring right at me which made me blush a little and look ahead._

''Sorry, am I making you feel uncomfortable? It's just, i've never noticed how beautiful you are.'' **Miles kept his eyes on me.**

**I giggled, shaking my head. **''I'm sorry, that's really nice of you to say but beautiful? I think your mistaking me for someone who's tanned, skinny and blonde like uhm i don't know.. Amber. Thankyou for the compliment anyways.''

''Yeah, Amber's gorgeous. She's most guys ideal of perfect and I'm sure alot of guys would want her for that but You, you have everything. Amber, she has an amazing body and she's a party girl, she's wild, she's all about having fun but I'm not sure if i want that. I'm pretty sure she's slept with half of the school's football team and half of my friends..'' **Miles sighed.**

''So why are you with her?''

''I guess my reputation was something that was important to me. It's normal, no. It's expected for the basketball captian and the head cheerleader to be a couple and I guess at first, she did fool me with her flirty ways and her charm. i was in love with her.''

**I smiled weakly, playing with my fingers. **''Is it crazy of me to say that I kind of always wanted a relationship like yours and Ambers? cause I do or well, i did. it's like you guys always seem so in love when your together.''

''A little because me and Amber go through more shit than you could imagine. It's tiring me out and that's why I'm thinking about breaking up with her.''

''but what about your reputation? uhm, not that it should come before your happiness i just thought it came first for you..'' **I mumbled.**

''My reputation becomes less important each time that I see you.''

''What are you trying to say, Miles?'' **I asked in confusion.**

''I know that we've only known each other for a few weeks and I've only spoke to you a few times but in a crowd of people, the only person i see is you. the only girl i see is you. you have something special that other girls don't have and I wanna be with you. So, what do you say beautiful?''

_I smiled softly and without even thinking, I stepped closer, wrapping my arms around Miles neck and pressing my lips against his._

''YOU FUCKING ANOREXIC SLUT!''


	4. Chapter 4

I immediently pulled back and pushed Miles away.

''What the hell do you think your playing at you anorexic ugly dirty fucking slut! Who said you could kiss MY man let alone even touch him?'' Amberlaughed and looked up and down at me,''Look at you.. Your so ugly, so fat, so disguisting and revolting..Your nothing Gabriella.'' She smirked.

_Her words kept coming back at me like a ton of bricks.. Ugly. Fat. Revolting. Disguisting. Slut. Nothing. I watched her grab Miles hand and pull him away from me, I watched her and her friends laugh continuenly, I watched her and heard her keep repeating those six hurtful words for the next few minutes, I fought back the tears as i looked over at Miles and a tear fell from my eye as he kept quiet, just standing there, not even helping me or saying anything to her. I closed my eyes and after a few minutes of replaying what just happened in my mind, I opened my eyes. It was quiet. They'd left. I fell to the ground letting the tears i held back escape from my eyes and hit the floor. After spending atleast an hour comforting myself in the drizzeling windy cold weather, I pulled myself off the floor and held myself together as I walked back to the  
>apartment.<em>

_I slowly pulled myself up the staires, moaning in pain with every step I toke. My whole body began to ache from the lack of food in my stomach. The last time I ate a proper meal was over a week ago. I was starving. I could hear my stomach rumble but I fought back the tears and ignored it. I ignored the pain, I ignored the agony, I ignored the fact that my body was aching and sore all over because I knew in the end It was all going to be worth it. I'll be skinny like those girls in magazines, I'll be beautiful like those runway models, I'll be perfect. I'll be happy and perfect._

_I could'nt give up now, I refuse too. I've come so far and I'm so close to becoming everything I've spent my entire life wishing I was._

_I finally reached the bathroom and entered it, I stood by the mirror and reached down to bathroom counter were the razor lay. I picked it up, __lifting my head and looking at my reflection in the mirror. ''Look at you.. Your so ugly, so fat, so ugly, so disguisting and revolting..'' The words kept spinning __around in my head so much that I started to believe it was all true. Why else would she say all those cruel things to me? ''Your so ugly, so fat, so ugly, __so disguisting, so revolting, so fat, so ugly, so disguisting. You anorexic ugly dirty fucking slut. Look at you, your nothing. so fat and ugly. Nothing.'' __The words kept going in my head. They wouldn't stop. It's all I could hear and soon my ears we're filled with nothing but negative things. I screamed __and threw myself at the mirror, breaking it into a thousand pieces which left cuts all over my arms and legs. I immediently fell to the floor and held __myself as tears started to drip from my eyes, I grabbed a piece of glass that was lay on the cold wooden floor and pressed the Sharpe edge against __my skin, slowly and deeply dragging it down my upper thigh, breathing out slowly. I could see thick blood appear suddenly and watched it drip onto __the tiles. I dropped the piece of glass and grabbed a towel that was hung up beside me, pulling it towards me and gently pressing it against the warm __blood on my thigh._

_I pulled myself off the floor and made my way into my bedroom, turning off the ligh and climbing into my bed. Another night of crying, tears, pain, hurting. It's been like this for the last 3 years. Some nights I wonder when It will end, when it will be over, when I'll be happy again. Some nights I try to accept the fact that Maybe I was made to live a life full of pain and to be alone. I closed my eyes and let myself fall into the place where I could get a break from reality.. sleep._

_I woke up to loud banging on my front door, I turned on my side and looked at my phone. 7 fucking am. I listened to it carry for for what seemed to be hours, I finally had enough and got out of bed. I walked down staires and sighed._

''Okay! I get it! I'm coming!'' I yelled, hoping they would hear me and calm down. I opened the door and looked up at the person standing there.

''I did'nt mean to wake you.. Um, can I come in? We need to talk.'' Miles asked.

I sighed, ''You've got five minutes, make it fast.'' I watched as Miles walked in and closed the door behind him.

''Are you okay? Look, I'm sorry about last night. I know i should of said something and I know i should of stood up for you. I did'nt mean to make you cry or make you..'' Miles glanced over at her arms. ''Cut yourself. I'm so sorry, Trinity.'' he mumbled the last bit, pratically whispering.

I looked away, ''It does'nt matter, what's done is done. The words, the cuts, They're all there. On my wrists and in my head, It's a little too late. Save your apology, it doesn't mean nothing, words don't mean nothing but you can do something for me.''

''Anything.'' Miles replied.

''Forget about me, forget about this, forget about everything. Let's go back to the way things we're before, when we we're complete strangers, you did'nt even know i existed, you did'nt care, you we're just Miles. The most popular guy in school who had everything with the head cheerleader as your girlfriend. It's better off that way.'' I held back tears as I kept my eyes on the ground.

''If that's what you want.''

''Yeah.. It's what I want and It's for the best.'' Tears began to fill my eyes, knowing i was lying to myself and holding myself back from screaming out the words i really wanted to say.

_And that was it, I watched Miles look at me for what could be the last time, i could feel myself suddenly fall apart right infront of him, my fragile and delicate heart breaking into a million pieces. I fought back the tears that we're desperate to fall and just stood there. I slowly closed my eyes, waiting to hear the door open and close. I suddenly felt two strong and musclar arms wrap around me. I did'nt speak, I did'nt move, I did'nt do anything. I just let the tears escape my eyes and let myself breathe. I was terrified that if I opened my eyes, It would go back to reality and all of what is happening would just be in my imagination._

''I'm not leaving you.'' Miles whispered gently into Trinity's ear.

''Not now?'' I cried, stuttering a little.

''Not ever,'' He chuckled lightly, tightening his grip, pulling her closer to him and kissing her forehead. ''You're what matters to me, You're all that matters to me. Popularity, My reputation, A scholarship, none of that is worth more than you are, Trin. Now can I see my girl smile?'' He pulled away.

I giggled, looking up at Miles and showing a smile. A real and genuine smile. His girl, My heart almost melted at those words but I managed to keep calm and not turn into some complete loser. ''One thing, What are you going to do about Amber?'' My smile slightly faded.

''I'm going to be completely honest with her.''

''What? Are you crazy? No, you can't! she'll hunt me down and kill me Miles!''

He chuckled. ''Don't worry babe, I'll protect you.'' he winked, adding sarcasm.

''This is'nt funny!'' I frowned, ''If she found out that you left her for me, well i don't know what she'd do but can we please just not tell anyone about us, just yet?''

Miles saw the fear in Trinity's ears and pulled her into his arms, ''Sure babe, Anything for you.'' He sighed, The one thing he hated was seeing her look so scared and worried but she was his now and he made a promise with himself that he'd protect her from any sort of danger and he was gonna stick to that.

''Thankyou, really.'' I smiled, tilting my head up and pressing my lips against his gently. I slowly smiled as the kiss got deeper and more passionate, I let my hands fall from the back of his head and wrap around his neck, i giggled as i felt him scoop me into his arms and place me onto the table, I pulled him closer and reconnected our lips, wrapping my legs around his waist and adding some tongue to the kiss, wanting more.

''Dude, should I come back later?''

_I quickly pulled back from Miles and looked over at the guy who was stood by the door. _

''Trey!'' I squealed, jumping down from the table and running around to the other side to give him a cuddle.

''Hey lil sis!'' He chuckled, lightly squeezing her.

''What are you doing here?'' I asked, curious.

''What do you mean? I rang you last month and told you I was coming to visit, remember sis?'' He kept his eyes on Trinity.

I laughed, ''Oh yeah, I totally forgot. Silly me,''

Miles looked at Trinity, The look in her eyes, it was the same fear she had when he mentioned telling her the truth about the two. Actually, It was deeper and even worse. Something wasn't right here. ''Hey there! I'm Trinity's boyfriend, Miles.'' He held out his hand and glanced over at Trinity who was smiling right at him. He

playfully winked at her only for her to giggle and looked back at Trey.

''Hey dude!'' Trey shoke hands with Miles and hugged him. ''Better be taking good care of my lil sis, yeah?''

''Of course, doing the best I can.'' He smiled as Trinity walked over to him and stood by his side. ''Keeping her safe and protecting her,'' He put his arm around her.

''And right now, I can't complain. He's doing an amazing job.'' I giggled, sticking my tongue out at him.

''Thankyou Missy,'' Miles kissed her nose.

''Enough of the cheesy lovey stuff, you guys up for getting something to eat and maybe a party?'' Trey slightly smirked at Trinity.

''What do you think, babe? You wanna go?'' Miles asked Trinity.

''Actually, I'm really worn out and tired. I think I might just pass this one and head up to bed.'' I tightened my grip on Miles hand.

''Ah, yeah man. I think we'll leave it tonight but hey, how are you long in town for?''

''For a while, Actually.''

''Awesome! Well then, I'm sure we can get together again soon.'' Miles gave Trey a hug and pulled away.

''Nice seeing you lil' sis,'' Trey hugged Trinity and smirked to himself.

''You too, I'll see you soon.'' I smiled and sighed in relief as I watched him walk out of the door. I turned around and looked at Miles.

''I'm not even gonna ask, I'll ask tomorrow. Come on babe, Let's get you to bed.'' He smiled at Trinity.

_And as usual, I'm not looking forward to tomorrow._


	5. Chapter 5

I slowly opened my eyes, my curtains we're open as was my window, I could feel a corpse cold and bone chilling breeze fill the room, all I could hear was the sound of rain, It was so peaceful and perfectly silent, I snuggled up to my pillow and lay there for a few minutes, a million thoughts running through my mind. I turned on my side, and felt a smile appear on my face.

''Hey mister,'' I whispered in a gentle voice, leaning over to poke him repeatedly and giggling to myself.

Miles turned over on his side to the beauty, ''Hey hey hey, Stop abusing your boyfriend.'' He teased.

I laughed, ''Oh, you consider that as abuse? really? What about this,'' I grabbed a pillow and started to hit him harder with every go ''Aw, come

on. Show me what ya got tough guy.'' I smirked.

Miles looked up at the angel, her beautiful smile, her childish adorable laugh, her crazy and silly personality, that sparkle in her eyes, that brown skin that made her glow, that curvy but toned body of hers, she was perfect to him and he loved every single thing about her. Her flaws and even the little things that she hated. Everything.

''What are you starring at?'' I blushed.

''Come here,'' Miles smiled, opening his arms.

I giggled and Jumped down on the bed, I smiled as Miles pulled me in his arms. I placed my head on his chest and entwined my fingers in his. ''So what? We're just gonna do this all day?''

''If you're okay with it?'' Miles replied.

I looked up at Miles and giggled, sticking my tounge out at him and escaping his grip. ''Maybe tomorrow babyboy,  
>I have a lot to do today.'' I kissed him<p>

gently and pulled myself off the bed.

''Where do you think you're going?''

Before I could even respond, I could feel his strong arms wrap around my waist and I watched as he pulled me  
>back and held me down on the bed. He<p>

leaned over me and I started to giggle uncontrollably as he started to tickle me. I could barely breathe, and I could'nt even move or escape his grip.

''Miles.. Stop.. I can't.. Breathe!'' I squealed as he started to tickle me even more, his hands moved all over my body.

''Or what? What are you gunna do?'' Miles chuckled and calmed down on the tickling a little.

''Or else, I'll beat you up!'' I yelled at him.

He chuckled and kissed Trinity's forehead. ''Not a chance Babygirl, You're five foot one and you weigh about as much as a bag of sugar,''

I looked up at Miles and frowned, I used those unrestiable cute innocent puppy eyes on him.

''You're so damn cute, do y'know that?'' He brushed a piece of my hair out of Trinity's face and gently stroked her cheek, He was oblivious to anything else

and was lost in her eyes.

''So I've been told,'' I giggled and pulled Miles closer, passionatly kissing him, letting all my worries fade away and just enjoying the moment.

Miles pulled away and threw a smile at Trinity, ''Wanna grab some lunch?'' He got off the bed and held his hand out for her.

''Do they have toilets in the cafe?'' I asked.

Miles looked confused, ''Yeah?''

I know it sounded stupid for me to ask, but I could'nt eat a full meal and have it settle in my stomach. I'm already fat enough as it is, and I'm almost close to becoming Skinny and having that perfect toned body. It's just so much easier to eat and then throw it back up, No one would suspect a thing, No one would know what I'm doing and No one would think anything of it. It's been my secret for the last six years and I don't think I'm ready for anyone else to know about it. Miles especially.

An hour had passed, The couple finally arrived hand-in-hand at the crowded cafe. Trinity adoringly smiled at Miles as he pulled out a chair for her, Being the lovely gentleman than he is. She toke her seat and watched as Miles sat down beside her, wrapping his arm around her and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. He grabbed two menus and handed one over to his girl.

''You chose what you want, yet?'' Miles glanced over at Trinity.

''Um, I think I'll just have the salad. I'm not very hungry,'' I smiled and passed the menu back to Miles who placed it on the table.

A waiter soon came over to the couple's table and left with their orders wrote down on a pad.

He smiled at Trinity and turned to her, ''Hey.'' He pulled her closer, and connected their lips together, kissing her passionatly and softly. It wasn't long before Trinity pulled herself away, leaving miles frowning and only wanting more.

''Sorry darling but, Their's people watching. It's a cafe, this is'nt the time or place.'' I giggled quietly and toke a sip of my water.

''So, how about my place. Tonight, 9pm.'' Miles smirked, laughing a little.

''You're unbelieveable! Keep dreaming babyboy.'' I rolled my eyes, playfully.

Before Miles could even think of a reply, The waiter walked over with their orders in his hands. He placed them on the table and set out the knives and folks out at the side of their plates for them both. Miles toke out his wallet and payed the waiter, adding a tip to the cost. He nodded at the guy as he walked away and turned back to his food. The pair ate their food. Sharing jokes, laughter and cute kisses inbetween. The two forgot the existance of all the other people in the room and acted the way two five year old's would do. Childish, Playful, Silly. Heads started to turn and eyes started to wonder but the couple we're too lost in each other's eyes to even notice, never mind care. After spending pratically their entire day in the cafe, with nothing but each other's company, they made their way out of the cafe and headed home.

~back at the apartment~

Troy's hands we're warm and soft against my skin, I could feel my heart beat get faster as his lips moved down my neck. I giggled quietly and ran my fingers through his hair, placing my hand on the back of his neck. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he gently pushed me up against the wall and lifted me into his arms. I slid my tongue into his mouth, pulling him closer so our bodies we're inches apart.

''I know something fun we can do, if you're up for it.'' I whispered in his ear, seductively and ran my finger down his chest.

Miles smirked, ''Oh yeah, what's that baby?''

''Let's cuddle and watch movies!'' I said with enthusiasm, escaping his grip and giggling.

Miles frowned and turned to Trinity, ''Damn baby, why ya gotta torture me like this?''

''Oh, I don't know. It's fun.'' I shrugged and smirked at him. ''Gimme a piggyback!''

''What's wrong with you're legs?'' Miles chuckled.

''My legs are tired!'' I giggled and jumped on his back, wrapping my arms around his neck and tightening my grip.

''Where too, my princess?''

''To the livingroom, my prince.'' I laughed and leaned my head on his shoulder.

Miles walked into the livingroom, Trinity jumped down from his back and threw herself on the couch, landing on a few warm and comfy blankets. She wrapped herself up in the blankets and snuggled up to a cushion on the couch whilst Miles just stood there, watching the adorable human being and smiling to himself.

He headed into the kitchen, raiding the cupboards and fridge for food to eat and he soon left the kitchen with crisps, gummy worms, chocolate chip cookies, bottle of coke and a tub of ice- cream all in his arms. He placed it on the couch and looked over at Trinity who was barely still awake, he got on his knees and kissed her forehead softly. ''Goodnight, my angel.'' He stroked her cheek and stood up, about to head upstaires.

I cleared my throat, ''Why are you saying goodnight?'' I sat up, forcing my eyes open.

Miles turned around, ''Babe, You're nackered. We can watch a movie some other time, get some sleep for now.''

''But I'm not! look,'' I pushed the blankets off my body and stood up, throwing a smile on my face.

Miles sighed, not convinced.

''Please stay with me and watch a movie.'' I mumbled quietly.

Miles nodded and pulled her into his arms. ''Okay baby, What do you want to watch anyways?''

''Ever heard of the notebook?'' I blushed.

''I watched that once with my little sister, the one about Noah and Allie breaking up and they rekindle their love like years later.'' he replied.

I giggled, ''Yeah, that one.'' I opened a cabianat and pulled out the dvd case, handing it to Miles. I sat back down, pulling the blankets over myself.

Miles placed the disk in the dvd player and fast foward through all the adverts, pressing play as he finally got to the start of the movie. He sat down next to Trinity, pulling her into his arms and leaned back. He entwined his fingers with Trinity's and smiled as she lay her head on his chest. He didn't want to move or even speak. This moment, where they we're, the silence. It was all perfect.

Tonight was gonna be tearful but special.


	6. Chapter 6 Part 1

It was a Wednesday and in four days, It would be September. Summer will be over and The two lovebirds will be heading back to High school. Nothing was official for Trinity as she left early for Summer break due to her builmia and anorexia issues but Miles had it all planned out, He was going to finish His last year at coleman high school, hoping to get a scholarship and head to university to study Law and Chemistry after he finished High school. Trinity knew he had a great future ahead of him but when It came to herself, she wasn't so sure. She had a few options of what she wanted to do in her head but her eating disorder has always held her back from doing the things she loves and enjoys.

I stepped on the scales for the first time that week, I could feel myself shaking and panicing inside, my throat was dry, I felt so fragile and weak. I gently breathed out and slowly looked down at the number.

I was 5 stone 4 which in my mind was classed as being fat. I was fat, ugly and worthless.

I sat on the toilet and buried my head in my hands, I could feel myself tear up slightly as I groaned in disappointment, ''Not fucking good enough.'' I mumbled to myself as grabbed a razor and dragged it down my arm. I bit down on my bottom lip as a way to cope with the pain. Thinking about my body and how disguisting  
>I looked made me feel sick. I sighed and pulled myself together.<p>

I headed downstaires and made my way into the kitchen, raiding the fridge for a snack. _My only snack for the day._ I grabbed a low-fat yoagurt and peeled the lid off only too drop it on the floor as I felt two arms wrap around my waist from behind. I escaped the grip of the person's arms and turned around.

''Oh shit, I'm sorry babygirl.'' Miles apologized, grabbing the mop by the door and cleaning up the spilt yoguart.

''Hey, you don't have to do that..'' I replied, quietly.

''Babe, don't worry about it. It's fine.'' He carried on cleaning the yoguart up, and headed to the fridge, grabbing another yoguart, a spoon and handed it to Trinity.

I smiled slightly, I hated being around people when I felt like this. Insecure, fragile, over-the-edge. I especially hated being around Miles. The last thing I want is to have my mood completely effect his and take out my anger on him. I peeled off the lid, scooped up a spoonful of the yoguart and ate it. As I continued to do this, I felt Miles eyes on my body. I started to feel a little uncomfortable and awkward. I finally finished the yoguart and shoved it into the bin.

''Cute sweatshirt.'' Miles chuckled, playfully winking at Trinity.

''Oh, this old thing? It's actually my ex-boyfriend's. He gave it to me back when we were dating and since it's quite comfy, I thought it'd be perfect to wear in bed.'' I shrugged.

''I think you'd look look alot cuter wearing one of mine though.'' Miles chuckled and smirked at Trinity whilst he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her gently.

''Oh yeah, I bet you would.'' I playfully rolled my eyes.

''Hey, do you wanna come round to mine tonight? I invited a bunch of friends, and since it's Halloween, I thought it'd be a cool idea to watch some scary movies, get dressed up, play some games. That could of stuff.'' Miles grinned.

''Um, I don't know.. Who's gonna be there?''

''Just Trevor, Aiden, Harry, Chris, Nick Amy, Lexie, Emilia, Rosie and A few others. Come on, please baby. What's the worst that could happen?''

I half-heartdly smiled. ''I see your point.. I suppose so.''

''Is that a yes?'' Miles held back a huge grin from appearing on his face.

''Yes, I'll come.'' I giggled.

''I knew you would, it's kind of hard to resist adorable charming ways huh?'' Miles chuckled. ''Thankyou babygirl, you're amazing.'' He kissed her gently. ''I'll see you later, yeah? Come to mine around 7pm.''

I shoke my head. ''Mhm. Bye babe.'' I smiled and watched Miles leave.

After spending the majority of the day being wrapped in a blanket, reading books and watching television. It was soon 6pm and time to get ready for Miles get together at his house. I headed upstaires to the closet in my room, opened it and pulled out a pretty white dress, black jeans and a pair of comfy beige wedges. I got changed into the clothes and started on my makeup. It was soon half six and after spending twenty minutes on my makeup, despite not being satisfied. I was finally done. I scrunched up my hair with my fingers and made it to leave messy simple cute waves hanging down my back.

I arrived at Miles house, I knocked on the door. I could feel myself shaking and toke a deep breath.

Miles opened the door. ''Hey beautiful.'' He hugged Trinity. ''You're early.''

''Would you rather me be late?'' I smiled and stepped into his house.

''Alright alright, quit being smart with me.'' He chuckled and shut the door.

''Um, I know this is last minute and everything but could i possibly stay the night? It's just It's so lonely at my house and it'd be nice to have some other company besides my dog.'' I giggled.

Miles smiled. ''Ah babe, I want you to but there's a problem..''

''Oh, what's that?'' I looked at him.

''I don't have a couch yet, I only have these bean bags.'' Miles picked one up and showed Trinity.

''Oh, Um..'' I bit my bottom lip.

''Which means the only option you have is to share my kingsize bed with me. It's up too you.''

I blushed. ''I don't mind.''

''Okay babe, have you not brought any spare clothes with you?'' Miles asked, looking confused.

''I'm sure you wouldn't mind lending me a sweatshirt or something to wear in bed.'' I giggled.

''Thanks for reminding me about that.'' He chuckled and wrapped his arms around Trinity's waist, leaning in for a soft and passionate kiss.

The door bell rang twice, Miles ignored it and carried on kissing Trinity, he couldn't nor did he want to pull himself away. He kept his arms wrapped around Trinity's small waist, he lifted her up in his arms as she slid her tongue in his mouth and kept her legs wrapped around his waist. Trinity pulled away and ran her fingers through his hair, giggling. ''We can do this later babe. Go see whose at the door.'' She unwrapped her legs and jumped out of his arms.

Miles walked to the door and opened it, high fiving the lads as they walked past him and into the house.

To be continued..


	7. Chapter 6 Part 2

It was 8pm and one hour into the Halloween party. The house was already a complete mess. Everyone was either drunk, asleep or making out with someone. I just sat there, feeling ignored and invisible to everyone, including Miles. Nobody talked to me. Nobody came over. Nobody even looked at me. It was like I wasn't there, like I was just another piece of furniture. I watched as Miles started to walk towards me and looked away, not wanting to speak or even look at him.

''You mad at me?'' Miles asked, stratching the back of his neck.

I shrugged.

''Baby, I'm sorry. It's just the guys, I haven't seen them in a long time and we got caught up in the conversation.''

''You're conversation doesn't include me?'' I glanced up at him.

''Actually, I thought you'd be with the girls. You know babe, they don't bite.'' Miles chuckled.

I looked over at the group of girls. Two of them looked out of there head's and the rest we're barely even still awake. ''Yeah, I'm sure we'd have a lovely conversation.'' I replied sarcastically. ''Whatever, You're forgiven. I suppose.'' I sighed.

We both looked around as the music stopped and everyone made a circle, sitting down on the floor.

''We were just about to play truth or dare.'' Miles put his hand out. ''Come on babe, let yourself have some fun.'' He grinned.

''I guess it wouldn't hurt.'' I grabbed his hand and we both walked over to the circle, sitting down next to each other with our fingers intwined.

I stuck by Miles' side like glue, fidgeting continuesly and breathing quietly but heavily. Miles pulled me closer and I felt a hand on my back, stroking up and down gently. I felt at ease and started to slowly calm down. I looked up at Miles and showed a small smile of appreciation. I was in aw as he put his arm around my shoulder and kissed my head.

''Just breathe, baby.'' he whispered in my ear.

''Guys, are we gonna play the game or what?'' Aiden yelled, over the talking and laughing.

''YES! everyone shut the fuck up!'' Rosie replied in an annoyed tone.

''Let the games begin.'' Aiden chuckled, grinning to himself as he spun the bottle and looked up as it landed on me. ''Miles' girlfriend, Trinity is it? Trinity, truth or dare?''

''Oh um, dare.'' I replied quitely.

''Oh oh! I have the perfect dare for her!'' Amy yelled, ''I dare you to make out with Harry. He has the biggest crush on you and I'm sure you'll be making him happy.'' She giggled and smirked at me.

''What the fuck Amy? I said she was beautiful, I never said anything about a crush.'' Harry yelled in an angry tone.

''Thank you Harry, but I think i'll pass on that dare.''

''Pass?'' Amy laughed. ''You can't pass on a dare sweetheart, have you never played this game before? a meaningless kiss isn't going to hurt anyone, challenge yourself.'' she smirked at me.

I looked over at Miles' who smiled and shrugged at me. I sighed and headed over to Harry, he stood up and smirked as he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer and leaning in for a kiss. He slid his tongue in my mouth and deepened the kiss. I could hear everyone cheering and shouting for us to go further. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tilted my head back as I could feel his lips move down to my neck, he grabbed my arse with both of his hands.

''Okay man, I think that's enough!'' Miles pulled us apart.

''I don't think it is for everyone else.'' He chuckled.

''The dare was to kiss her, not to fucking touch her up. Not cool man, at all.''

''Oh really? well let's see if it was enough for her.'' Harry pushed me against the wall and forcefully kissed me. ''You want more baby? is this enough for you?'' he pulled my legs around his waist and sucked on my neck.

''Harry, No.. Please stop!'' I felt tears in my eyes and tried to push him away.

''You heard her.'' Miles pulled him off me and punched him angrily, kicking him in the stomach several times as he was on the floor and spit on his face as he lay there in agony. ''DON'T EVER FUCKING TOUCH HER AGAIN!''

I felt tears escape my eyes and stood there looking at this monster that i loved and meant everything to me, a monster that wasn't the guy i felt safe and protected around, a monster that wasn't the boy i fell in love with. I felt my heart slowly crumble and let the tears fall. I ran out of the house and had no intentions of ever going back.

(AN) I'm sorry that this chapter isn't the best and as I am currently very busy with everything, a new chapter will be out every month. I will try my best to make the next chapter much more interesting and as this chapter is extremely short, Chapter 7 will be out sometime this weekend! Thank you and I appreciate reviews :)


	8. Chapter 7

**WARNING: There is some sexual content in this chapter so please do not complain about this as this is a warning for all you people that don't like that.**

Miles opened the door and stepped into the house.

''Trinity?''

Miles headed into the kitchen, searching and looking for the brunette beauty, he continuesly called out her name and walked upstaires only to hear a noise coming from her bedroom, he leaned against the door and smiled as he spotted the angel snuggled up in bed, wearing nothing but a low cut top and underwear, wrapped in blankets and fast asleep. He quietly walked over to her, kneeled down by the side of her bed and just watched as she lay there peacefully. He felt his heart break as he slowly lifted up the blanket and noticed scars covering her legs, thighs, stomach and arms.

''Baby..'' He whispered, sighing to himself.

''Miles?'' I gently replied as I turned on my lamp and rubbed my eyes.

''Hey, sleepyhead.'' Miles placed his hand on her cheek and stroked it softly, smiling at her.

I turned away from Miles and pushed his hand away. ''W..what are you doing here? h..h..how did you get in my house? Last night..''

''Last night was crazy okay. All I saw was Harry's hands all over you and I flipped. I got jealous but baby, I never wanted to make you mad. You've got to understand how watching that made me feel.''

''The thing is, I don't. The way you acted last night scared me Miles. I just saw this side of you that was violent and dangerous and I didn't like it. You're supposed to make me feel safe and protected but last night.. you failed at doing that and did the oppisite.'' I sighed and avoided eye contact.

''You didn't exactly try pull me away or scream for me to stop, Trin.''

''Yeah because I didn't think I needed to for you to realize that what you we're doing was wrong.'' I sat up in my bed, wrapping the blanket around my body. ''I just need time, Miles.'' I sighed.

''Time to what Trinity? time to think about whether I deserve another chance? time to think about what future we have? time to think about whether or not you're gonna break up with me? No Trinity. No. We're sorting this out now and I'm not leaving until we have.''

''Why the fuck does it even matter to you so much?'' I replied, teary eyed.

''It matters because no girl has ever meant as much to me as you do. I am completely in love with you Trinity and I have been from the first day that I met you. You're beautiful, stubborn, childish, amazing, moody, incredible. You're all I've ever wanted and I don't know if I could handle it if i lost you.''

I softly smiled at his kind words as I leaned in and pulled him closer, connecting our lips together, making the kiss passionate and gentle. ''I love you.'' I whispered in his ear and threw my arms around his neck. I lay on the bed, pulling him untop of me and reconnecting our lips.

''I love you too, babygirl.'' Miles smiled, sliding his hands down to her hips. He slowly kissed down her neck and started to suck on it softly.

I moaned slightly, running my hand through his hair. ''Baby baby baby.'' I spoke quietly.

Miles looked up at Trinity, ''What babe?''

''Slow down.'' I giggled and played with his hair.

Miles smirked and bit down on his bottom lip. ''Yes mam.'' He chuckled as he climbed off the bed and sat on the floor, opening Trinity's legs and kneeling inbetween them.

He pulled down Trinity's knickers and slowly inserts his tongue in her vagina, licking and biting her clit.

I tilted my head back and placed my hand on Miles' head, moaning in pleasure. ''Oh my god, baby.''

''You taste heavenly babe.'' Miles smirked as he continued to eat her out, moving his tongue around in her vagina. He inserted two fingers inside of her and started to gently finger her. He fingered her and ate her out both at the same time.

''Oh my god, keep going! It's driving me crazy! Ah.. that feels so good.'' I moaned, throwing my head back. I tightened my grip on the bedsheets as I wrapped my thighs around his face.

Miles smirked and pushed his fingers deeper inside of her making her moan his name in pleasure. ''That's right baby, moan my name like you want it.''

''Holy shit.. Ah, I want you inside of me baby. I think I'm gonna cum.'' I moaned and slowly came on the bed. I breathed heavily and smirked at Miles, giggling.

Miles got up and poistioned himself over Trinity, pulling his boxers down and lifting Trinity's legs up to his waist. ''You sure your ready, baby?'' Miles asked, moving his hand down her thigh slowly.

''Yes, I'm sure. Make love to me.'' I smiled.

Before Miles even got the chance too, their was a sudden noise coming from outside of the bedroom. They stopped and froze, everything was completely silent until Trinity heard a familar voice yelling her name continuesly.

''Oh shit! It's Mia! My bestfriend!'' I whispered, pushing Miles' off me and quickly throwing back on my knickers and bra. I put on a long cardigan and opened the door.

''Trinity!'' She yelled from the other side of the hallway and rushed over to give her a hug. ''I've missed you so much! I'm so sorry I didn't tell you about my brother being in the hospital. How are you doing?''

''Your brother's in the hospital? and I'm good. Yeah.'' I looked around and spotted Miles sat on my bed. ''She doesn't bite, babe.''

''Who are y-'' Mia was interrupted.

''Hey.. Mia.'' Miles' nodded and smiled.

''Miles Jackson, I never knew you we're friends with my girl.'' Mia folded her arms and looked over at Trinity.

''You haven't told her?'' Miles asked.

''I never really got the chance too. Um, Me and Miles' are a couple. We're dating.'' I smiled.

''Damn how much did I miss.'' Mia giggled. ''Congratulations Triny! as long as your happy and content, that's all that matters to me.''

I looked over at Miles' and smiled softly. ''I really am. Thank you Mia.'' I hugged Mia and giggled.

''I was just about to go to Moi's for a bite to eat, do you guys wanna join me?''

''Um, yeah sure why not. You okay with that babe?'' I looked at Miles.

''Of course babygirl.'' he smiled and entwined his fingers with Trinity's whilst kissing her forehead softly.

_Everything was perfect, it was like nothing could possibly go wrong.._


	9. Chapter 8

Trinity smiled as she sat by the pool and watched as the kids played in the water, smiling and laughing.

_I remember feeling that free, secure, happy. I missed that feeling. I craved that feeling. To feel loved. To feel important. To _

_feel cared for. To feel special. To feel geniuenly happy without a care or worry in the world. What happened to being innocent and pure? my childhood was stolen from me and replaced with Anorexia, Bulimia, Bi polar and depression. So many disorders that have ruined my life. I had turned into this fucked up selfish mess. One huge mistake. That's all I am. A mistake. An accident. _

Trinity sighed and pushed back anymore negative thoughts that we're about to form in her head. She pulled up her bag onto  
>her lap and digged in to feel a small box that contained tablets. Tablets to control her depression. Anti-depressants. She slid one small orange tablet onto her hand and threw it into her mouth, removing the tase with a gulp of cold water. She smiled as she felt two strong musclaine arms wrap around her and instantly felt calmer. Miles' sat down beside the brunette beauty and wrapped a protective arm around her, pulling her closer to him as he gently kissed her temple. Trinity shot a smile at him. A weak but soft one. A grateful and heart-warming smile.<p>

''Hey..'' Miles' spoke softly, almost whispering. ''You okay?''

''Uh what.. yeah yeah I'm fine.'' I reply, turning my attention back on the kids by the pool.

Miles' turned his head and soon picked up on what Trinity was looking at and distracted by. He smiled.

''Be careful there, you could be mistaken for a pedophile.'' he chuckles lightly.

Trinity giggles and shakes her head.

''You got any brother's or sister's babe?''

''I had a sister.''

''Oh.'' Miles' frowns. ''What happened to her?''

''She was killed.. by my mother. Abortion. She was 28 weeks old. Ebony.'' I can feel my heart ache just thinking about it as I hold back the tears.

''I'm sorry babe..'' he whispered, taking Trinity's hand and entwining their fingers.

She shake's her head. ''It's not your fault..''

''look, I know abortion is never the option but your mother was on drugs, your dad had left and there was only you. Did you really want Ebony to be brought up into that sort of enviorment?''

''I could've taken care of her. that was my little sister that she killed. My little sister that meant the world to me before even developing properly. My mother toke away the last part of me that was left. Ebony was my reason for holding on and now that's she gone..'' I feel a hurricane of tears flow down my cheeks. I can barely finish my sentence.

''Don't you even say that you have nothing to hold on for, ok? you have me. I need you. You can hold on for me because I'm not going anywhere. Not now. Not anytime soon. Not ever.'' Miles' pulls Trinity into his arms, wiping away her last few tears and continues to hold her until she stops crying. He feels her lips on his cheek and smiles as he pulls away.

''Thank you.'' she whisperes softly.

He smiles at her. ''My pleasure.'' he takes her hand, pulling her up and wraps an arm around her. Looking down at her with a reasurring smile on his face. ''Hey Trin?''

''What is it?''

''Well, I understand if you think it's a little too early for this but my parents know about you and they've been wanting to invite you over for dinner for a while now. I put it off because I was unsure of.. us but now that everything's clear. I thought maybe you'd want to come? what you say then?''

Trinity giggled and nodded. ''I'd love too.''

''Great!'' he chuckles. ''Dinner's at 6:30pm tonight so I'll pick you up around 6?''

''Maybe I could get ready at yours? it'll save us alot of time. My make up and clothes are just upstaires.''

''Um yeah sure of course, that's cool with me!''

''Thanks!'' she smiled. ''Let me just go grab my stuff.''

Time had flown by and it was already 5:50pm at Miles' apartment. Trinity was still getting ready in the bathroom whilst Miles' was done and waiting for her on the couch downstaires as he watched basketball on TV. Trinity did the final touches of her look for the night before finally walking out of the bathroom and heading downstaires to see a very relaxed happy Miles'.

Miles' jaw dropped as he looked over his shoulder. Trinity was dressed in a sleek tight black mini dress that showed a good view of her clevage and showed her skinny tanned legs along with her back being revealed leaving little to the imagination. She wore a dark shade of red lipstick and finished the look off with beige sparkly heels. Miles' was speechless which made

Trinity giggle and grin slightly. She grabbed his hand and they headed out to the car.

''The dress is.. ni ni ni nice.'' he stuttered as he finally got his words out of his mouth.

''It's all for you.'' Trinity whisperes in a gentle tone.

Miles' can't help but smirk a little. ''Leaving little to the imagination though, aren't we?''

''That's the idea, babe.'' She laughs.

_Showing so much flesh and revealing so much to Miles' makes me sick to my stomach. I bet he's looking at my legs and arms thinking I'm as fat as a whale. He's too nice to say anything, though. I breathe in and hold in my stomach. I fiddle and pull my dress down so it covers most of my hideous fat legs and thighs. I wrap a cardigan around my shoulders, hiding my disgusting arms. I feel Miles' eyes on me as we stop at a red light and start to feel consinous, insecure, uncomfortable. My heart almost jumps out of my chest as he puts his hand on my thigh. I push his hand away and look out of the window, crossing my legs and moving my body away from him. I hear him sigh. His disappointment. I take his hand in mine and smile to myself as we sit in silence until we arrive._

''I'm sorry about the hand babe. It wasn't meant in a sexual way or well maybe it was but I would never force you to do things you're not comfortable doing. You know that right?'' he lifted up my chin, kissing me passionately.

''I never said I wasn't comfortable.''

''What's the problem then? why did you move my hand?''

''Nothing.. well, I'm just not sure if I'm 100% ready to go all the way. I'm only 17 and we've only been dating for just over a month. Meeting your parents is one thing but sleeping with you is a totally different thing so let's not rush. Ok?'' Trinity looks at Miles' and smiles.

Miles' puts his hands in the air, ''No rush.'' he smiles and leans closer to give me a kiss. ''I'm a patient person.''

Trinity giggles as she takes his hand ''Hm, I bet you are.'' they climb out of the car and walk into his parents house.

''TRINITY!'' a tall blonde tanned woman runs towards Trinity with open arms, beaming as they hug. ''It's so good to finally meet you!'' she grins.

Trinity smiles, nervously. ''You too, Mrs Collins.''

_I soon calmed down as I felt a hand on my back. All my nerves had disappeared as I looked back to see Miles smiling directly at me. _

''Thank you.'' Trinity mouthed the words at Miles with a soft smile.

''Shall we eat? the food is all ready and waiting to be eaten! Trinity, do you like chicken and vegtables?'' she asks.

''You're in luck, they're my favorite foods!'' she smiles.

''Ah that's great!'' she replies as she starts to put food onto my plate. ''So Trinity, Miles tells us you go to the same high school as him?''

''Coleman high school. Yes miss.'' she takes a bite of her chicken.

''That's interesting and what is it that you'd like to do when you leave? What colleges or universities do you have your eyes on?'' she asks, curious.

''I'm not so sure about that or even about going to university at all. The costs are so high and well, I think I've had enough of the whole educating thing.''

''Ohhh. Can you mother not afford the university that you may like to apply too?''

''Um, I haven't spoken to my mother for five years actually. I don't live with her and we don't keep in touch, Mrs Collins.''

''Oh dear. I'm sorry to hear that. Miles' will be attending the columbia university in New York later this year.'' she smiles, proud and happy as any mother would be.

Trinity's heart drops into her stomach as she hear's his mother's words 'New York' repeat over and over again in her head. ''He's a smart boy.'' she forces a smile upon her face and takes her last bite out of her chicken before pushing away the rest and standing up. ''Please excuse me.'' she says before walking to the door and stepping outside to finally breathe in and out slowly. Letting the tears fall freely down her cheek.

After several minutes, Miles' dad, David appears at the door and lights a cigarette. He notices that Trinity is crying and closes the door behind him. ''Love can go the distance.''

Trinity shakes away her worries for a moment and looks over at David. ''Excuse me?''

''Love can go the distance. I assume your upset over Miles' leaving and going to New York later in the year well, love can go the distance. It might be hard and a struggle but if you love my son as you look like you do then it's worth it.''

she laughs, ''Yeah and he wouldn't fall for some hot blonde airhead cheerleader whilst he's there and replace me will he not?'' I reply sarcastically.

''I know my son and although he rarely ever actually falls for a girl, I do know that when he falls in love, he stays faithful, he's loyal and he'll fight for that one special girl. Who knows, it could be you next.'' he shrugs.

Trinity slightly smiles. ''I care about your son. Please make sure your wife also knows that.''

David nods and smiles at her before he puts out his cig and heads back inside.

''Hey! there you are!'' Miles' shouted.

''Yep, here I am. I'm sorry babe but I'm not feeling very well, can you take me home?''

''Home? but I haven't given you your surprise yet.''

she raised her eyebrow, ''Surprise?''

_The excitement and butterflies are all I feel, I love surprises.._


End file.
